Thanksgiving comes early this year. I wish I had been aware of that when I was booking business travel. Maybe I was in denial - also highly likely. There are SIX weeks until Christmas but I have nine nights of business trips between now and then. This effectively removes more than a week from holiday shopping, cookie baking, recipe searching, decorating with kids, menu planning, and sitting in the glow of holiday lights while drinking a warm cup of something. WHAT. WAS. I. THINKING. So now, instead of panic settling in, I make a nice warm cozy space for GUILT. Welcome home, old friend.
My very capable husband reassures me it will all get done. I'm going to miss the preschool pics and pizza with Santa (knife to the heart), the church talent show, the holiday parade. My M.O. will be to overdo everything I CAN be there for. To shower my family with so much holiday happiness and affection they won't even notice my absence when I'm on the road. But here comes the positive outcome. Because I over-scheduled myself and business travel in order to squeeze the most out of year-end, I know I will prioritize and be present when I AM with my family these next six weeks. Isn't that the whole point? To be fully present and grateful during the holidays? If so, I hate to admit, the frenzy and precision of business travel is helping me to be a better parent and a better merry-maker. The guilt still lingers, but all the airport gift shop present purchases for my kids will probably mitigate it, a little.
~Journey On, Janes.